The new mums, expectant mums, older mum, step mums, single mums and hopeful mums. Yep, we come in all forms, shapes and sizes, for motherhood is NOT a one size fits all calling, yet every one of us is strategic and highly important to the fabric of our society.
I dreamed of becoming a mother from about the age of 15, and actually started buying baby things for years before I actually had the privilege of becoming a mother. Sounds a bit intense I know, but there was a longing in my heart to create a family, a home, a crazy, life-filled safe place with kids and friends and even dogs, chickens, great food and dreams and laughter. I’m sure you hear me when I say all of this. It was a longing in my heart.
My first born Amy Jaye is now a mum of three. The day of her birth, one of my biggest life dreams was fulfilled. I was flooded with so much joy and I still find it hard to wrap words around those initial moments when I was able to gaze into her beautiful, blue eyes. I took so many photos of this little precious and perfect baby girl. A baby girl, who took my breath away then and still does to this day.
When her sister, Chloe Jaz, came into the world amidst a flurry of drama, an ambulance ride, an emergency C section and the hospital preparing us for the worst. When I finally held this miracle baby in my arms we (Mark and I) were once again overwhelmed with Gods kindness toward our family. Amy had a sister. I was a mum of two girls. Mark had two daughters. Proud was an understatement. Chloe is like a female version of Mark, she is a thinker, an inventor, she is creative and full of soul. She is a delight and is about to be married. Amazing.
We headed into a busy season and a long time passed before we became pregnant with our 3rd baby. We had tried to adopt a little boy from the USA (we had named him Dylan) but that adoption never eventuated. Following that, we miscarried a precious baby at 12 weeks which was devastating. The day finally came however, that we fell pregnant with Zoe Jewel, and her birth was again miraculous, and our little family became a tribe.
Zoe didn’t walk until much later as she was literally carried everywhere by the four of us who doted on her from the day she was born. We still dote on this beautiful girl who just celebrated her 14th birthday.
Today, I reflect on the grace of God towards me as their mum. I am very imperfect, and at times too busy, but I will say that for all of their lives, the three of them and their Dad have had the whole of my heart.
There have been many hard work days, days of frustration, days where I’ve doubted my ability to parent them well, days where i wanted to tear my hair out, days where I compared myself to super mums and was extremely hard on myself, days of elation, days of no money, days where I’ve felt I’ve done well and days where I’ve felt like I’ve failed ever so miserably. Does this sound familiar? When I think of the grace of God toward all of us in the seemingly impossible moments to the greatest days of our lives, I sit back and simply breathe in and thank Him for His grace that enables us at every moment. A grace that never runs out, even when we do. He never turns His back on us, and always whispers gently to our souls when we need a friend to talk to.
Cut yourself some slack today. You’ve done good. Even when you know you could have done better, today is a new day.
Breathe in Gods grace, breathe out His peace and praise.
We all go in His grace, so lean into it and enjoy the journey.
Being a parent is one of the greatest privileges we enjoy in this life – so fully enjoy today. And, if today is particularly hard for you, because perhaps the word Mum conjures up harsh memories, or maybe this is the first Mother’s Day without your mum, I commit to pray for you all this weekend. I am believing for miracles within relationships, and that the peace of God that passes all understanding will rule and reign in your heart and mind.
Love you all dearly.. xx
Happy Mother’s Day…2015